Author Profile
- Username
- JonWahlgren
- Articles
- 18 (17 reviews)
- First Article
- Sun 7th, November 2010
- Avg. Review Score
- 5.6
- Find Them On
- Twitter/X • Instagram
First Impressions Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor
Metal madness
Pack it up, folks: with Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor, we have reached the apex of video games as an entertainment medium. We now have the technology and, apparently, the desire to fist-bump our computer cohorts, and there's no going back. "Bro-op" aside, From Software's Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor's mammoth task is...
Review Diabolical Pitch (Xbox 360)
Warning: baseball puns
Leave it to developer Grasshopper Manufacture to take a perfectly innocuous activity like throwing a baseball and find the perfect way to twist it into a weird sci-fi horror show. As a former major league pitcher down on his luck with a bum arm, an anthropomorphic bovine in a suit grants you a souped-up bionic arm — to earn...
Review Twister Mania (Xbox 360)
Twist and shout
Twister, as a traditional video game, would be destined to fail. Pressing a button to put right leg on red would just be nowhere near as fun as wiggling your limbs to screw over some poor sap struggling to make their body obey the almighty colour spinner. But Kinect’s Twister Mania is no traditional video game, eschewing buttons...
Review Hulk Hogan's Main Event (Xbox 360)
Oh brother
In the sweeping midst of Hulkamania, Hogan set out three demandments for Hulkamaniacs: to train, say your prayers and eat your vitamins. A fourth was added a few years later in 1990: to believe in yourself. Had Hogan had the foresight to add a fifth — “don't make terrible video games” — we all would have been spared of the tedium...
Review Minute to Win It (Xbox 360)
Bored in 60 seconds
Another day, another Kinect mini-game collection themed around a reasonably popular TV game show. This time out it's NBC's Minute to Win It, in which Food Network chef Guy Fieri takes a break from introducing the nation to diners, drive-ins and dives across the country to give contestants a chance at the big bucks through...
Review Nicktoons MLB (Xbox 360)
Not quite a home run
With the real MLB season coming to a close, the sport is rapidly approaching its Toy Story moment: when no one is around to see, what happens to all the players? They're recruited by Nickelodeon, apparently, for a simplistic and, despite its best efforts, charming take on America's pastime. Nicktoons MLB falls under the same...
Review The Penguins of Madagascar: Dr. Blowhole Returns Again! (Xbox 360)
The legacy of Reel 2 Real lives on
Dreamworks’ Madagascar films are notable for two things: Resurrecting Reel 2 Real’s 1994 jam I Like to Move It and spawning a zoo filled with a team of goofy penguins. Said penguins proved popular enough to get their own spin-off show on Nickelodeon, which then went on to birth TV specials, DVD collections and...
Review The Gunstringer (Xbox 360)
A fistful of crazy
You'd be hard-pressed to find a development studio with more spring in their step than Twisted Pixel or a game with such joie de vivre as The Gunstringer. Where a lesser studio may have slapped some skeletal cowboy puppets into a Kinect-enabled rail shooter and called it a day, Twisted Pixel snatches the western marionette theme...
Review Wipeout In the Zone (Xbox 360)
Good grief
Few things in life are as satisfying as some good ol’ schadenfreude, and the producers of hit ABC show Wipeout know that more than anyone: it’s like an obstacle course interpretation of home-movie clip shows where everyone gets knocked in the balls — fitting, as the most iconic obstacle is a set of huge red balls. There's a...
Review Child of Eden (Xbox 360)
A real trip
It's been far too easy to overlook Kinect as a valuable, or even viable, addition to traditional gaming in its first year of commercial life. Far too little of its catalogue so far has amounted to anything more than bite-sized experiences that only go to show that, why yes, you can kick an air football in your living room, without...
Review Kung Fu Panda 2 (Xbox 360)
Not so awesome
Faced with all sorts of different platforms and peripherals, THQ made the bold decision not to make just one game for the Kung Fu Panda 2 licence, but four entirely different ones to play to console strengths. PlayStation 3 got the most "sequel-y" version with a traditional gamepad-based adventure; both the DS and WIi...
Review Brunswick Pro Bowling (Xbox 360)
Gutter ball
Say you had a bowling game strongly rooted in realism that goes through the trouble of including life-like physics, online play and even replicating lane oil patterns for an extra bit of strategy. Now, say you wanted to make it as difficult as possible to actually play. What would you do? You do a poor job of bringing that game to...
Review Def Jam Rapstar (Xbox 360)
Rap karaoke ain't nuthing ta #$*! wit
Between Rock Band and Guitar Hero, music fans looking for a game focused largely on rock, metal, punk and whatever else you can bang out with a guitar, a bass, a drummer and a vocalist have been pretty well covered. There have been a few deviations into other genres, like Activision's rather splendid DJ Hero...
Review Adrenalin Misfits (Xbox 360)
From X-Game Hell they came
Kinect and snowboarding should go together like peanut butter and chocolate, yet out of the gate riding sports have fallen closer to the experience of discovering Vegemite on the floor: a (very) select (and brave) few will be able to wring some enjoyment out of the likes of SEGA’s Sonic Free Riders and Konami’s...
Review Your Shape: Fitness Evolved (Xbox 360)
Not quite washboard
If there's one thing the Wii has proven to be lucrative, it's the market for fitness games. Unfortunately, nothing quite nailed a proper fitness regiment. Wii Fit Plus is good for some yoga and balance games but lacks a cardio segment, of which EA Sports Active did an admirable job but was ultimately hindered by its tether to the...
Review MotionSports (Xbox 360)
Just as generic as the name implies
Kinect is but a spry young thing and already its humble catalogue includes a notable amount of minigame collections. Between the pack-in Kinect Adventures and Rare's Kinect Sports, the case for another set is a rough one to make. Ubisoft's MotionSports is a competent enough package, but it's failure to really...
Review Fighters Uncaged (Xbox 360)
Bad to the bone
Ubisoft's Fighters Uncaged sounds like a good idea on paper: a full-body fighting game where you can unleash a variety of punches, kicks and combos by actually performing them. But oh so much goes wrong in the execution that the end result feels like an abhorrent mess. The first sign of trouble is in navigating menus. This is the...
Review Kinect Adventures (Xbox 360)
A controller is you!
Pack-in games tow a very particular line: show off new features and gameplay mechanics in a way that's fun as well as elevating the new hardware to must-have status. Knocking this out of the park can be devastating to the competition — Nintendo might have a thing or two to say about that. The more daring the new hardware, the...
